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Its All About Love


Its All About Love

Have you ever loved something or someone so much that your heart hurt to hold it all? 

This is how I feel about my family.  They are constantly expanding my heart and helping me grow more and more in my capacity to love and be loved. It is a precious and painful gift.  I believe our hearts are meant to continue to expand and open wider and wider into a beautiful love that connect us to our true self, others, God and all of creation.  This perfect love is unlimited and all encompassing and it starts in you.

This Christmas was different for our family.  Instead of gifts, we gave our children a trip to Mexico.  When they asked me what I wanted as a gift, I asked them to take an Enneagram assessment.  My desire for connection is strong and I believe the Enneagram provides language and insights that help us connect to the best possible version of ourselves so we can bring our best to the world. 

In theory it was a great idea, in reality it was a little rough. 

What was learned is that everyone has different levels of awareness, desire, and capacity to engage in these topics.  My family is no different than the world that you will each bring your awareness into.  Some people want to engage and seek to understand and grow, some people will push against and challenge every little bit that you bring to the table.  Some people will want to argue and be right, others won’t say a word in an effort to keep the peace.  Our family discussion represented just some of the differences in personality styles that affect you whether you acknowledge it or not. 

The wisdom of the Enneagram runs deep and expands in all directions.  I don’t believe it can be mastered, but it is an on ramp to self-awareness and love that will carry you forward on your journey toward optimal health, connection, balance, and productivity.  Once you take an assessment or discover your number, you have only just begun.  This starting point is where you get curious and begin to test it out.

For example, if you test as a 7, you want to begin to notice the ways in which your need for fun and adventure might bring you closer to the ones you love and when it might pull you away from them.  Awareness is always the beginning.  From this place of awareness, you always have the power to choose. 

The Enneagram is an invitation to choose love.  The love and acceptance that you bring to yourself on this journey becomes a gift to those around you.  You can only give to others what you yourself have received.  As you begin to rest in the truth of who you are at your core and begin to celebrate your unique goodness, this love and acceptance becomes a safe harbor for those around you.  Once you love and accept yourself, you are able to see past the irritants in the others around you and choose to love and accept them in the unique way that they have been created. 

Just like one discussion around our dinner table didn’t take us to that beautiful vision I had for connection, your work on this journey will take commitment and time.  If you are committed to this journey of self awareness and love, your rewards will be far greater than you could ask or imagine.  At the end of the day we have each been created to give and receive love perfectly and freely.  The wisdom of the Enneagram is a precious gift of love.  To remember that you have been perfectly created and have a unique gift to share with the world is a cause to pause and celebrate, to love yourself as you are, and to take a brave step toward loving those around you exactly as they are today.  Socrates in his wisdom said “An unexamined life is not worth living.” 

Will you commit in 2019 to examine your life in a way that leads you to love yourself and this one life you have been given?  As you begin to notice the goodness and release the judgment and old stories and pressures, you will find energy to learn and grow and flourish into the person you were created to be.  From this place of truth and authority, love will fill your home and workplace and invite those around you to a life that is worth living. 


Freedom:  It's an Inside Job!

Freedom: It's an Inside Job!

In letting go we are free.  Its that simple and that difficult all at once. The issue of bondage is in the head.  We become attached to ideas, thoughts, people and places and when it is time to move on, we tenaciously cling. This is where the suffering begins, but the good news is, it is where the healing begins as well.  

Freedom begins the moment we let go of our limiting beliefs and the thoughts and ideas that no longer serve us.  

It sounds easy, but it’s an intense discipline that takes continuous practice.  In the book of Romans, Paul writes: “do not conform to the patterns of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” When I first read that, I memorized and used it as a touchstone to remind me how to find freedom and transformation.  We move beyond the patterns of suffering by training the mind.  This idea is reinforced in the yoga sutras when they explain the two wings of the spiritual journey of yoking or integrating mind, body and Spirit as abhyasa(practice), and vairagya (renunciation –letting go).  It has taken me countless years of practice and letting go to experience a taste of freedom.  It is the sort of freedom that is worth fighting for.  

I recently hit a rough patch in my journey.  Although I was teaching about freedom and letting go, inside I was suffering.  When I feel overwhelmed, sometimes I just put myself to bed in hopes of rebooting the system.  I fell into a deep and restorative sleep instantly.  When my alarm sounded an hour later, I awoke with the words of my wise teacher in my head.  “As long as you cling, you will suffer.”  I had to turn in and scan my mind, body, and heart for the clenched fist, only to find I had grabbed onto my college aged son with two hands.  Although I sent him away to college and let go 2 months prior, I keep trying to hold tightly to the reigns of control and guide him from afar.  It is not working and so…. I suffer.  I relinquish control and ahhh I am free.  He is on a journey and my job is to love and trust and let go… moment by moment and breath by precious breath.