Near the beginning of the global pandemic this spring, I remember wondering “are we there yet?” Surely this will pass over quickly and we will get back to normal. When the reality set in that there would be no going back to normal, there would only be a going forward into something new, I felt mostly dread. Anxiety is leaning forward with fear of uncertainty of what’s to come. It is a state that steals the peace of the present moment and is as contagious as the virus itself.
I have struggled with anxiety during different seasons of my life and have mostly judged and warred against the thief that would wake me before the break of dawn and steal the peace by covering me with terror and dread. Through practice, I have learned to love and accept the anxiety as an invitation to choose faith over fear. Fear says “you will never make it,” while faith says, “reach for my hand and we will get through the dark fog together.”
When our children were young we would road trip across the country and because they didn’t have a good concept of time they would ask over and over again “are we there yet?” Even if I showed them on a map where the beginning and end of the trip was and put the time in a translation that was relevant to them (6 episodes of their favorite show), it was hard for them to settle into the journey.
In order to feel safe in transition, it is helpful to know where you are going and when you will arrive. In this liminal space we are in collectively, there appears to be no end in sight. This uncertainty taps into a trauma response and all the other times where the future seemed scary or unsure. When fear settles in and impedes your ability to enjoy the journey it is helpful to orient yourself to the present moment where peace is always awaiting your return. Though we don’t know when we will make it to the other side and the threat of this pandemic will pass, we have already come so far.
As you look back over the past 6 months, what have you gained? It is so helpful to acknowledge the good that has come of these changes that we have no control of. This pandemic has slowed us down in many ways and for that and other small gifts, we can say “thank you.”
It is also helpful to pause along the way and acknowledge what has been lost. No one likes to do the hard work that grief requires, but what you don’t acknowledge as loss can often pull you back and weigh you down making you feel stuck. Can you take some time to reflect on the small and big losses this current season is bringing forward for you? If you can name them and grieve them, you are free to release them.
When moving through space and time there are so many elements outside of your control. The feeling of powerlessness that is associated with unprecedented change can make you want to push forward in a way that could cause more harm than good. It also can be tempting to withdraw completely because everything is so different, but that feeling of disconnection can add more pain to what is already difficult. When feeling powerless, it is helpful to practice stopping and reconnecting to the power of love.
Love brings comfort in the middle of a long journey when you start to get weary and lose hope. Love is found when you look out the window at the beauty of creation and when you phone a friend to find connection. Love is always present and available and it is here to remind all of us to stay the course. It calls us back to hope.
Although we don’t have the power to choose all of what our new future will be and how long it will take to get there, we can choose to love every little step of our journey and remember that we are not alone. Together we have the power to choose growth and freedom. We as a human race are all navigating uncertain times and together we will arrive at the perfect moment in time!
“Walk toward the good in life and one day you will arrive.” - Atticus